Our Fitness Enhancement Trainers are always up for trying new things out, it is also very important so we know what the clients talk about if they want to discuss their experiences with different health fads. Check out what one of our Trainers has to say about trying out the Paleo Diet.
I won’t lie to you—I did it. I took a running jump and hitched a ride on the Paleo Bandwagon—pockets full of raw cashews and a knapsack full of kale. I was gung-ho and ready to join the Crossfit crew and the Gwenyth Paltrow wannabes on their enlightening (head-lightening?) grain-free journey to prehistoric paradise. Fast forward two weeks later and you could find me and my knapsack sprawled on the side of the road, weakly begging passersby to toss me a bagel. Why? Because I jumped right back off that wagon (ok fine, I slumped over from utter lack of energy and fell off) when I realized that I’d rather drop a kettlebell on my foot than continue the Paleo “lifestyle”.
Here’s why the Paleo diet SUCKED:
1. No Beans About It.
Seriously. NO BEANS. What kind of diet blacklists something as delicious, fiber-filled and protein-packed as a legume? I knew going into it that I’d be eating my bean burrito sans the burrito part of it, but now I don’t even get the beans themselves?! Adios, amigos.
2. The Great Dairy Debate
Butter is Paleo, but sour cream is not? I can drink raw milk, but yoghurt is off-limits? What about a pint of double-mint ice cream, that’s gotta be Paleo, right? MAKE UP YOUR MINDS, PEOPLE!
3. If Your Ancestors Couldn’t Buy It at the Wholefoods Co-Op, Neither Should You
“And to your left are the petrified remains of Sally, a prehistoric hominid—next to her you’ll see the organic avocado pit and empty jar of almond butter that archaeologists found next to her.” Come on, who are we kidding? If we were to actually “eat like the caveman” we’d be feasting on beetles and tree bark.
4. I Dub Thee an IMPOSTER!
I ran into so many people out there claiming to be leading a “100% Paleo” lifestyle—when in reality, they were 100% NOT. Sorry bud, but if you’re “Paleo, but sometimes eating bread, and occasionally a banana or two, and just haven’t been able to ditch my latte habit”, guess what? YOU’RE NOT PALEO.
5. Is That a Multigrain Bagel in Your Pocket or Are You a Devil-Worshiper?
We get it. Sugar is Satan. And abstaining from it can reduce your risk of developing a whole butt-load of diseases. But are all carbs bad? Can’t we choose to acknowledge the heart health and digestive benefits of including whole grains in our diet? Or do I need to keep eating my Wheaties in the closet?
6. I’m Sorry, What Was That? I Fell Asleep.
I work a 40-hour a week day job as a Personal Trainer. I’m training for a half a marathon. My husband can’t cook a decent meal beyond scrambled eggs, and there are endless Cheerios needing to be picked up off my floor. Guess what I need to have in order to accomplish all those things? Energy. Guess how much I had while eating “Paleo”? Zilch.
7. Life Without Chocolate Is Not a Life Worth Living.
Need I say more? Okay, okay, maybe I’m being a bit dramatic (yet another side effect of Paleo—ever heard of hangry?) and I will admit that there are a couple of things that I dig about the whole “Hunter-Gatherer” lifestyle (I felt very superior in the supermarket checkout line, and uncured bacon is the bomb diggity), but in general, I hated it. I didn’t find that it provided me with adequate energy, and there was always the lingering thought in the back of my mind of “when I’m done with this, I’m eating so many muffins.”
Paleo may be a decent direction to lean in—unprocessed foods and plenty of protein is A-OK in my book. But I’m more of an “Everything in Moderation” believer, at least when it comes to a sustainable diet.
So Pete Evans, you can take your Paleo and shove it. (But first, can you bring me a glass of Malbec and one of your delicious pizzas, please?)
Check out more on the Paleo diet in these articles; Evolutions says Paleo is flawed and is Pete Evans right?
